


Panic Buttons

by arachnid_writes



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Brotherly Love, Detailed Description of Panic Attacks, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Vomiting, anata wa hitori janai but with some added flavor, but still look out for that, leo has a BAD time, raph’s just trying to be a good big brother, self-deprecation, the vomiting isn’t detailed dw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:14:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26400988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arachnid_writes/pseuds/arachnid_writes
Summary: It feels like he’s dying. His air is being ripped from him and his eyes are drooping and he’s dyinghe’s dying.
Relationships: Leonardo & Raphael (TMNT)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 211





	Panic Buttons

**Author's Note:**

> **WARNING: this fic deals with heavy stuff. detailed description of panic attacks, vom, and some mad self deprecation.**
> 
> the events depicted in this fic are _LOOSELY_ based on something that’s happened to me, but i took a few diff routes. that being said, as the one who somewhat experienced it already, wrote this AND read over it, this fic _STILL_ requires me to take a break while i read.
> 
> please, know your limits and take care.

Leo already couldn’t remember what it felt like to breathe clearly.

He had woken up that night in a cold sweat, shooting upright with his chest painfully constricting like something was wrapped around him, _crushing him_. He didn’t even have time to figure what the heck had caused it, if it even had been a nightmare, before his brain started fogging up from his shallow breaths and lack of oxygen.

He remembered dragging himself out of bed, stumbling over to the wall just near the entrance and leaning against it heavily as he gasped for air, trying to keep the impending panic at bay. But his chest wouldn’t stop squeezing, screaming at him to breathe, _breathe_. His breaths kept getting quicker and he knew there was no fighting what was coming.

So he let himself slip. He slumped against the wall, hugged his arms around himself, and braced for the worst.

The panic attack that rocked through his body had lasted thirty minutes. At least, that was his best guess anyway. It felt like hours. It had left him breathless, dizzy, and shivering from the cold feeling that had settled in his slowly easing lungs. He had tried to get up, only for his legs to wobble and cause him to come crashing back down to the floor. He didn’t try getting to his feet again.

He had hugged his legs tightly, burying his head in his knees as his muddled brain struggled to put together what had caused the whole ordeal in the first place.

He couldn’t remember anything of whatever dream he might’ve had, but he had assumed that was the culprit. It wasn’t the first time night terrors left him scrabbling at his bed sheets in a craze, so he was familiar with this routine. Not to mention he hadn’t done anything stressful the day before.

It seemed to be the only explanation, and yet he couldn’t remember a single detail about it. It was a blank spot in his mind, a word document erased of its contents and left with only a blinking cursor. So now here he sat, thinking in the aftermath.

The more he tried to remember, the more he forgot what had just happened. The more he focused, the less he noticed the careful buildup just underneath his plastron, heart thumping so loudly he could feel it pump without reaching to his neck. 

It was only when his ribs felt like they had been squeezed did he snap out of it, not even realizing he had started panting again.

“Not again, please not again.” he wheezed, hands flying up to his pulse point and counting. He stumbled on seven, a painful strike to his sternum making him gasp, and restarted. 

He had to use his fingers to do the math, shaky hands making it even harder for him to do the simple multiplication problem, and his breaths stuttered when the number processed. Around 140 beats per minute, give or take ten. He needed to calm down before it got worse.

He laid his head back against the wall, sucking in a breath and holding it until he wanted to scream, letting it out in one go when his mind started to buzz for too long. 

Bad decision. The lack of air only made his desperate lungs fight for air harder, leaving him on the cusp of hyperventilating.

The hand resting on his knee squeezed, the pressure in his chest building and causing him to groan softly in pain, overwhelmed. He could feel the attack coming on and oh god he couldn’t breathe-

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold his breath again only to have the air punched out of him in less than a second. He was losing the fight _again_. 

His fingers tingled and he clenched them tightly, gasping. His heart squeezed and he jerked forward, coughing in alarm with eyes blown wide as his breaths crescendoed out of control.

He reached up to grip his head, staring down at the ground in panic as it overtook him. He couldn’t think, his body was burning hot and freezing cold at the same time and every nerve in him was begging him to get up and move, to run away _run away, Leonardo_.

He didn’t know what he needed to run from. He closed his eyes, and against every urge to fight he stopped. Again. He let it pass through him, writhing in place.

This one didn’t last as long, and yet it still robbed him of any semblance of energy he had regained from his break following the first panic attack. 

The tightness in his chest was still there. Weaker than before, but still there. 

He leaned back weakly against the wall again, eyes lidded and mind a blur. His arms and legs were still tingling with phantom needles.

He felt his eyes slip closed, body going limp for a moment too long before he regained his senses and jolted awake. He wasn’t fast enough to stop his fall though, teetering to the side before landing on his elbow. He didn’t feel like he had the energy to move right now, so he stayed there, laying on the ground as he tried to gather his bearings.

“What’s wrong with me...?” he whispered, voice barely audible even to his own ears. He hadn’t had a panic attack this bad since...ever.

Sure, they were never exactly pleasant, but two in a row? It was uncanny and unnerving, and Leo shivered both from the chill of the exertion and the thought of this ever happening again.

As he felt his breathing calm down, he thrummed his fingers on his plastron just over his heart, a gentle rhythm he practiced to keep himself under control and make sure he didn’t slip up.

He inhaled for four seconds, four taps. Seven seconds warranted seven similar taps, and he held in his air for the duration of it. Finally, he exhaled in a gentle whoosh, eight more taps following.

He took a second, already feeling his chest ease up a little more, and did it again.

In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight.

On his last breath he sighed, finally feeling like he could breathe a little. He was still aware of the pressure where his breastbone would be, but it was more of a dull ache than anything. It was manageable.

He was okay.

He shifted a little, feeling some strength seep back into his arms as he pushed himself up into a sitting position, still using the wall for support. His eyes settled on the clock by his bed, blinking a few times so that the blurred digital numbers would clear up.

4:16 AM, it read. If he went to sleep now, he should be able to wake up in time for the special breakfast Splinter had promised to make them the day before. He said it had been some special occasion, and it wasn’t often their dad woke them up with a hot meal. Not as often as when they were little kids, anyway.

Leo did not want to miss that.

He braced himself and took a deep breath, planting his hand firmly on the wall and lifting himself off the ground. He let out a small startled yelp as he immediately stumbled, waving his other arm out to keep his balance. His legs probably were still recovering, especially since he had been on the floor for a while now.

Just as he made it around to the side of his bed to climb in, his heart thumped harshly. He could feel the pressure growing again, slightly but still noticeable.

Carefully he brought his hand back up to his plastron, not daring to take another step as he tried not to focus on the exhaustion pulling at his limbs at the prospect of another attack.

He inhaled slowly.

In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight.

The pressure didn’t ease, and his stomach twisted with nausea. He forced himself to stay calm, he couldn’t let himself slip a third time. His fingers began to thrum.

In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight.

The pressure continued to build. His breaths shook, and he reached down while taking a knee so that he could grab onto his mattress for support. 

In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight.

It wasn’t working, _why wasn’t it working?_ The rhythmic tapping turned into desperate grasping at the top of his plastron.

No, no he couldn’t do this again. He couldn’t take another. Whatever was causing this to happen to him needed to stop because he _couldn’t take it_.

He breaths quickened.

In for four. Hold for six this time, a second too short. Out for eight.

He could already feel the buzzing begin to grow in his arms. He needed to calm down now before it was too late.

Unsurprisingly, the panic of needing to be calm did not help him do so.

In for two. Hold for one. Out for three.

He didn’t know when his other leg had bent down. He was leaning over the bed now, sweat pooling on his forehead again.

In. Out.

In. Out.

In. Out. 

_Breathe_.

But he couldn’t.

Leo was slipping again, _again_. For the third time in what had to be the past hour or so. He held onto the sheets of his bed tightly, the only thing keeping him from becoming acquaintances with the floor again. He blinked harshly, trying to clear the daze.

He wasn’t getting enough air.

 _Breathe_.

He couldn’t, it was too tight-

 _In for four, Leo_. _Hold it_.

He’s trying, _he’s trying_. He swears he’s trying but he can’t take a breath longer than two seconds, much less hold it.

 _You need to breathe_.

He knows that already! That doesn’t make it easier!

Oh god, he can’t do it. His head is spinning and he can’t hear his own gasps over the blood raging in his tympanum. He can’t breathe, no matter how hard he tries he just can’t breathe.

He lurches forward— an involuntary response to the lack of oxygen in his system— hands scrabbling for purchase in the sheets. This one is worse than the other two, it’s so so much worse. 

He can’t do this. _He can’t do this_.

He can’t even hear his own thoughts over the pain and oversensitivity.

He can’t. He can’t.

It feels like he’s dying. His air is being ripped from him and his eyes are drooping and he’s dying _he’s dying_.

He can’t do this. He can’t do this alone. He doesn’t want to do this alone. 

As he lowers even more, body beginning to collapse from the exhaustion, his head lands on the mattress. He’s wheezing now, chest rising and falling rapidly as he blearily looks around his room. 

That’s when he spots it.

His sash, laying haphazardly on the ground two feet away, panic button still attached.

 _“It’s simple, really.”_ Donnie had said a week ago, handing each of the brothers their buttons back. _”One tap for big emergencies, i.e. life or death, and two for minor ones.”_

Leo took as deep of a breath as he could, gulping as he scrunched his eyes shut and attempted to push himself off his bed. He managed to extend his arms though they were shaking wildly. As carefully as he could, he reached down to the ground, hoping his arm would hold and keep him from face planting.

It didn’t, buckling as he fell on his side. The air was knocked out of him and he gasped, blinking to clear his head as much as he could. 

_“Just make sure that if you use it you aren’t using it for something dumb. We don’t want to desensitize ourselves to it, okay? Which means no using it for favors.”_

Leo rolled onto his side, pushing himself on his elbows and straining to _move_. He just needed to get within arm’s reach. Arm’s reach would be enough.

He crawled forward, the exertion leaving him panting as if he ran a mile. He pushed himself to keep going until static started overlaying his vision.

It was right there, he just had to reach for it-

_“So yeah, mainly for life or death scenarios. The double tap is more of a...safety precaution.”_

His trembling fingers fumbled with the cloth. He grasped it, hastily dragging it back so that the button was in front of him.

His body shook violently, his struggle to breathe even worse now because of his efforts. His chest contracted painfully, causing him to grit his teeth and hiss.

It definitely _felt_ like he was dying.

With shakier breaths, he brought his hand up and slammed it on the button once.

The button glowed and beeped, the lines on the emblem becoming a bright green. Distantly he heard similar beeping, and for a moment he felt relief wash over him. 

He rolled back onto his side, curling into himself. He felt like he had been here for hours, when had he last had a clear breath of air?

He shivered violently, stomach tossing and turning with the nausea from before, ignored while he had reached for the panic button. He brought one of his hands up to his open mouth, clenching it shut and willing the rising bile to go back down. He didn’t want to be sick all over his floor.

The beeping from outside his room continued. He wondered if everyone was asleep.

He wondered if he was actually left to deal with this alone.

His throat tightened, and not from the lack of air. He waited for help to come, still trying and failing to steady himself on his own. He closed his eyes, hoping it would provide him some comfort. At least the pain had eased ever so slightly now that he wasn’t hellbent on fighting it. He inhaled shakily, once again attempting to hold it only for the air to escape him quicker than he could process.

Four seconds.

Just four.

Four is all you need.

The beeping from outside grew a little quieter, and Leo heard footsteps stumbling their way out of a room. His eyes opened as they grew closer, and he summoned whatever strength he had left to turn over on his side.

His slowed mind finally processed what was about to happen, what whichever brother that had come to his aid was about to see. His heart rate picked up, and he didn’t need to check his pulse to tell this time.

For the first time since the attack had started, his thoughts managed to form themselves. _Pathetic pathetic pathetic_. He moved his arms and curled impossibly closer in on himself. _Why didn’t you just breathe?_

That wasn’t fair. He had tried, he couldn’t. 

_You couldn’t because you were too weak_.

No, that wasn’t it. No one would’ve been able to get out of that alone.

 _You should’ve. This isn’t the first time it’s happened. Why haven’t you learned yet? Why haven’t you_ grown up _?_

He was just a kid-

 _So are your brothers_. _They aren’t like this._

No, that’s a lie he’s- he’s seen them. 

The footsteps came closer and a shout echoed. All beeping had stopped.

Leo’s eyes stung with tears, and suddenly his hiccups weren’t him trying desperately to breathe.

 _You should be able to deal with this alone_. _What are they gonna think when they see you?_

He doesn’t know.

 _They’re gonna think you’re_ weak.

Leo’s hands squeezed his biceps. He’s weak. He’s weak and he shouldn’t have pressed the stupid panic button.

And then it hit him that he had only hit it once.

The guilt came crashing down, his hands flying up to grip his head tightly as the pressure on his chest returned full force. 

Stupid, stupid, stupid. He should’ve dealt with it himself, he should’ve let it pass _he shouldn’t have bothered his_ -

“Leo?”

His head shot up, eyes blown wide and breathing heavily to see Raph at the entrance of his room. He had his mask and his gear on, including the bandages around his hands and ankles. Had he slept with them on?

It was then he noticed Raph’s hands gripping his tonfa, his stance tense. He had expected a fight.

Leo’s gut twisted violently. Raph was woken up in the middle of the night because of _his_ panic button, probably missing out on sleep thinking Leo had been in trouble. He’d brought his weapons for crying out loud. 

Just to come up and see Leo hyperventilating, curled up on the ground like some whiny little kid. 

He felt sick. He needed to apologize.

He opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was a hoarse choked sob. He shook his head frustratedly, swallowing and trying again.

“I’m,” his voice was so quiet and it _hurt_ to speak. It felt like he was was talking around nails in his throat. “Ra-aph I-“

Raph’s tonfa dropped to the ground with a clatter and the eldest was rushing to his side, snapping out of his stupor.

Raph knelt down beside him, reaching for Leo’s shoulder. He hesitated, eyes wide and worried, searching for any signs of adversity to touch.

Leo nodded slightly, and Raph grabbed him gently by the arm, helping him into a sitting position before shuffling in front of him.

“Leo, what’s wrong? Talk to me, are you hurt?”

Another sob tore through Leo, hiccuping on his breath when he was met with the full concern of Raph’s expression. Concern he didn’t deserve. He let out a sound of pain when his chest squeezed particularly hard, hand flying up to grip his plastron again.

Raph startled, eyes doing a quick onceover. “Ch-Chest pain? Is it chest pain?”

Leo gasped and nodded once.

Raph worried his bottom lip with his snaggletooth. “Panic attack?”

Another nod, and Leo closed his eyes. He could feel himself getting overwhelmed and he was gonna break down _right in front of Raph_.

“Okay, uh.” Raph paused for a second. “Can you look at me?”

Leo shook his head.

“That’s okay, just listen then. Try to follow my breaths alright?”

Leo heard him breathe in deeply, exaggerated for emphasis so that it would be easier for Leo to follow. He tried to, taking his own shaky inhale, but he wasn’t able to breathe in nearly as long as Raph did. He ended up spluttering early on, and Raph squeezed his arm gently in support.

“Sorry-“ he croaked. “I’m trying I-“

“It’s okay, you’re doing fine Leo. let’s try again.” Raph reassured. “In.”

Leo’s finger shakily taps against his plastron four times.

Seven more taps, his lungs are burning and his other hand reaches over to blindly grab at Raph’s arm. He squeezes.

“Out.”

Leo exhaled in just five taps, a little quicker than he would’ve liked. 

“That’s great, lets do that one more time okay?”

Another four seconds.

Another seven seconds.

Eight seconds this time. Better.

The pain in his chest was ebbing away, but his shoulders still shook with emotion. He bit the inside of his cheek, not wanting to pick back up again.

“Can you look at me yet?”

Leo did, opening his eyes and looking up to meet Raph’s expression. He got a gentle smile in return.

“Do you feel any better?”

His chest did for sure, it didn’t feel so much like he was suffocating anymore. Though, he could feel a migraine coming on, and his stomach was still tied up in a knot from guilt.

“Yeah, a little.” he admitted quietly. “I- I think I just need to-“

His stomach turned, and he realized then it wasn’t guilt making his abdomen twist in pain. He brought his hand to his mouth in alarm, bile quickly rising in his throat.

It’s a good thing Raph had been watching, and even though it was the mock Jupiter Jim helmet he had grabbed instead of the trash can, it would still get the job done. Even if it required some extra cleaning and lots of apologizes to a certain boxshell brother.

Leo hunched over the helmet, puking until his tongue tasted bitter and his throat burned. He groaned softly, head still leaned over it as Raph held it up.

He stayed there for a few minutes, catching his breath. That was until the pungency really set in, making him scrunch his snout in disgust.

“Eugh, ‘m done.” he mumbled, pulling his head out before he could get any sicker.

Raph looked at the helmet in his hands as he pulled it away from Leo, and it seemed he had just now realized what he grabbed. He sheepishly put it off to the side, making sure to lean it against a wall so it wouldn’t spill.

“How uh,” he began. “How we feeling now?”

Leo groaned, flopping forward and resting his forehead on Raph’s shoulder both for comfort and for balance, the world spinning around him. “Like death.” he mumbled.

Raph chuckled, but it was quick to fall away into silence. Leo didn’t mind, he was already starting to drift off, pain in his chest forgotten.

“How long?”

Leo blinked lazily, moving away so he could look up. “Huh?”

Raph frowned, staring at the sheets now halfway on the floor, the sash dragged towards where he had found Leo curled up. “How long did it last?”

Leo paused, then turned around to look at his clock. His heart dropped when he saw the time. 

5:47 AM. It had been an hour and thirty one minutes since he last checked, and that was _after_ the first two attacks. 

He hid the unease on his face. “I don’t know, thirty minutes tops?” he lied.

He looked up to his big bro, and sweat nervously when he saw the expression there.

Leo was a terrible liar when it came to this very specific thing. Everything else he excelled at, a master in trickery.

Not with Raph.

He sighed. “It...wasn’t just one.” he said, hands moving down to hug himself. “There were three.”

His mind sneered at him. _Why did you tell him? You’re bothering him_. _Backtrack now._

“I didn’t wanna bother you about the other two, I- I already bothered you enough with this one when I should’ve just been able to handle it myself.”

Leo looked away from Raph to stare intensely at one of the posters on his wall, fingers fluttering against his arm nervously. “I handled the first two but I don’t know what happened and the third one was worse.” He started getting a little choked up, the unpleasantness of it not being helped by his dry throat. He took a deep breath through his nose, making sure to stave off any sign of panic. 

Speaking of panic... 

“I shouldn’t have pressed the panic button.” Leo‘s nails began to dig into his arms with the firm grip he had on himself. “It was a stupid _stupid_ mistake and I’m sorry I bothered y-“

“Alright, Raph’s gonna have to stop you right there.”

Leo looked up to him, startled out of his anxious ramble.

“First off,” Raph held up a finger. “you aren’t bothering me by asking for help and especially not for pressing the panic button. That’s what it’s for, Leo.”

Leo frowned. “I only pressed it once though. You came in here with your tonfa and your gear, Raph.” He looked off to the wall again. “You...can’t say you weren’t a little annoyed that you got up for nothing.”

“I can, though.” Raph said gently. “I woke up cause my little brother needed my help. And you did. If anything, I’m relieved it wasn’t the worst case scenario. Not annoyed.”

Leo stayed silent.

“I’m not done though, that brings me to point number two.” Raph held up a second finger, as if he still needed the visual guide. “You don’t gotta deal with that stuff alone, I thought you knew this. We’re all here for you.”

Leo’s throat tightened again, eyes rehydrating with tears at the words. “You shouldn’t have to, I shouldn’t be burdening you guys.”

Raph squeezed Leo’s arm gently where his hand was still connected, causing Leo to look back over to him.

“Leo, we’re family. We’re _brothers_. We look out for each other, no matter what. You don’t burden us.”

Leo felt a tear slip down his cheek, heart squeezing in a different kind of way. He sniffed harshly.

Raph smiled softly. “Do you want a hug?”

Leo shuffled forward, nodding and reaching up to hug Raph around the neck while he returned the embrace. He felt his resolve crumble, all the exhaustion and pent up anxiety from the past two hours being released in the form of sobs. 

Raph’s hand scratched his shell gently to sooth Leo as he cried, shushing him every so often. “‘S alright Leo. I got you.” 

Leo cried until the ache in his heart was gone. He cried until the voice in his head was swept away by his exhaustion. He cried until he physically couldn’t anymore, sniffling and hiccuping quietly.

When he was done he felt all the energy leave him, slumping against Raph as the rest of his sniffles faded out. If his throat burned before, it was on _fire_ now. He swallowed thickly in an attempt to soothe the figurative cracks, but it only proved to irritate it more.

“Hey, Raph?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah?”

“I feel like I haven’t had water in _weeks_.” he mumbled. “Could we get some?”

Leo felt rather than saw Raph’s nod. “Yeah, sure thing buddy. We gotta get you cleaned up first though.” Leo felt Raph’s head turn, and heard his grimace. “And the helmet too. Mikey’s gonna kill me for that.”

“‘m the one who hurled in it.” Leo said drowsily. He didn’t even realize Raph was picking him up as he stood. He held on a little tighter while he was carried out of his room and in the direction of the bathroom. “If anythin’ he’ll get mad at me, not you.”

Raph laughed and tapped Leo’s arm when they made it to the bathroom, letting him know he could let go now. He stumbled a bit when he stood but gripped onto the sink to keep his balance, Raph hovering just in case.

He splashed water on his face, brushing his teeth what had to be three or four times to get the lingering smell out. He was sure he had rubbed his tastebuds off by now.

He rinsed out his mouth a few times, the terrible minty toothpaste tasting _almost_ as bad as the bile, and then dried his face.

Once he saw he was done, Raph offered his carapace for Leo to perch on, and using the spikes he climbed up and hung on.

Leo kept slipping in and out of unconsciousness during the next few things Raph had to take care of, which included— but was not limited to— the water Leo asked for, a trip to his own room for a weighted blanket plus some extra pillows, and some snacks.

Leo was already half asleep by the time they made it to the TV room, Raph sitting with him in the chair and wrapping the weighted blanket around the both of them. The screen flickered to life, a collection of all the boys’ favorite movies ready and waiting to be played. Raph selected one of the Lou Jitsu movies and let the auto play do the rest of the work. 

Leo finally ended up sleeping to the fourth one put on, snoring softly and leaving Raph to turn it off, scoop him up, and bring him back to this room. He left the bottle of water by his bed before grabbing the tainted mock helmet from the far side of the room, plugging his nose as he went to go clean it.

He managed to do so easily enough, bringing it back and putting it exactly where it had been before. Yawning, he made to retreat back to his room for his own share of sleep, taking a glance at the clock before he left.

9:57 AM.

—————————

Hours passed by noon before Raph woke up. Feeling exhaustion deeply set, he had dragged himself out of bed and into the kitchen to get himself some kind of weird mix between breakfast and lunch.

What he hadn’t expected was to see two plates of breakfast in the microwave, still warm. His and Leo’s, probably.

He smiled to himself as he grabbed one of the plates, closing the microwave door and grabbing a fork before making his way to Leo’s room, breakfast in hand.

He approached the room and cleared his throat a little, putting the fork in his right hand on the plate so he had a free hand to knock with. Once he made it to the entrance he rapped his knuckles on the metal.

“Knock knock,” he called out softly. “Leo? you up?”

He poked his head in to see Leo, in fact, not up and rather sprawled on his bed entangled in his sheets. The bottle of water was still untouched, so he must’ve slept through the night okay.

Raph beamed and stepped in. He needed to find a good place to put this plate down. 

“Uh...” He looked around the room, spotting a few boxes in the corner. He put the plate carefully on the edge of one of Leo’s shelves, going over to one of the boxes and dragging it over beside Leo’s bed. He grabbed the bottle of water still on the ground and placed it on top, reaching for the plate to do the same.

He took a step back, admiring his handiwork for a moment before his gaze traveled to Leo.

He looked relaxed, not a single worry line in sight, which was a huge relief. To be honest, Raph didn’t think he’d really forget the way he had looked early that morning. The fear, the panic. The worry that he had done something wrong.

He shook his head, he could dwell on that later, but he was still too tired to think about it too much. He was just happy he had been there to help Leo, and that would have to be enough for now.

He made his way out of the room, allowing himself a look back to his sleeping brother. 

“Night, bro.” he whispered just before he left, though he knew Leo wouldn’t hear it. 

Leo woke up to an admittedly cold breakfast, and the first thing he did was take a deep inhale and appreciate how it felt to breathe before devouring the cooking and downing every drop left in the water bottle.

He went back to sleep after, of course, and slept in for most of the afternoon. No one seemed to mind. A pretty sweet ending to a crappy early morning, if you asked him.

**Author's Note:**

> if you think i missed any tags that should be there please please let me know, the last thing i’d want is to not warn someone properly. hope y’all took breaks like i told you too >:(


End file.
